Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Chronicles: Last Day of July

I haven't done a Chronicles: A Day in the Life of the Misnomer for some time (read: in two years.) so I've decided to do one now. I want to do one today because I had a flawless day, for the most part, and I just want to tell all my followers (read: Isabel) all about it.

3:30 a.m. - Wake up not feeling tired at all because I went to bed at 10 pm like a good girl should, eschewing my usual 1 am shenanigans. Except now I cant get back to sleep. Toss and turn for a half hour.
4:00 a.m. - Decide to do something with my life and turn on the computer fully intending to put in some quality time with my thesis.
4:05 - Get distracted by a K-pop forum. Learn that my favourite k-pop band EXO will infact be releasing their video later that day.
4;10 - Realize that even if I could go back to sleep, I can't because excitement.
4:11 - Feel slightly guilty that I've seen all the choreography already because their dance routine leaked.
4:12 - Get over it because they are richer than me and anyway I know someone at their own company probably leaked it purposed to guage fan reaction and whet fan appretite.
$:125 - Smugly feel like I know all the ways of entertainment marketing and despise capitalism in true Misnomer-conservative-liberal fashion.
4:20 - Decide I am a liberal asshole who can't diss capitalism cuz I can't even finish my fucking Master's Degree.
4:21 - Decide to stop wallowing in self-pity and be productive.
4:30 - Decide to sort out my laundry into loads of white, reds, jeans and sheets.
4:50 - Decide to change bed sheets because I'm bored and I prefer the red ones anyway.
5:00 - Decide to clean room.
5:15- Decide to plan my make-up routine for later that morning because I decided to go to school to study - and watch k-pop videos- study hard and make notes for thesis.
5:30 - Decide it's light enough outside for a run.
5:35 -Creep out house without waking family to go running on the sea cliffs. Accomplish this mission.
5:45 - Decide thats 15 mins is enough running for the week - I mean, day.
5:50 - Finally finish catching my breath
5:51 - Do 70 windmills, 70 jumping jacks, and some leg raises.
6:00 - Trudge inside to look for skipping rope. Can't find it. Decide thats enough exercise for one week, I mean, day.
6:05 - Plan to make breakfast for entire family as it would be a nice surprise for them to find something to eat when they roll out of bed at seven.
6:10 - There are only two eggs, 1 tea-bag and no plantain, no baked beans. Give up breakfast-for-family plan and settle for breakfast-for-me-plan.
6:30 - Feel quilty when father wakes up earlier than expected to find me eating the last two boiled eggs and last twinnings tea (orange).
6:31 - Apologize profusely and then scurry off upstairs in shame.
6:40 - Decide I stink after my run and head into the shower.
6:45 - Realize that the problem with living on the east coast and bathing so early is that the morning sun shines through the bathroom window directly into your eyes.
6;45 - Decide to stop grumbling and enjoy living in a tropical paradise.
6:55 - Return to room and choose a black bra and black bloomers because I am boring and conservative.
7:00 - Skip most of the steps of morning facial routine (toner, serum) because I am lazy and only apply moisturizer. Prime face. Spend 15 minutes plucking unruly eyebrow hairs, filling in said eyebrows, then concealing around said eyebrows. Remind myself that I am going to university, not a date.
7:15 - Apply under-eye concealer which doesn't cover dark circles because I can't be fucked to do it properly. Apply foundation before remembering too late that the waxy formula of the foundation slides off in tropical weather.
7:15 and 30 seconds - Roll eyes.
7:16 - Do the powder, highlighter and lipliner-lipgloss combo thing
7:18 - Realize I really need to buy mascara because my Lash Architect is pretty much gone
7:19 - Think about Isabel's review of Clinique Bottom lash mascara. Spend some minutes thinking about my never ending make-up/skin care wishlist
7:20 - Kill time doing nothing till my ride (aka my sister Jill [remember her]) is ready to leave.
7:35 - Pick up our cousin Jasmine comes along for the ride to the city.
8:15 - My sister gets off at work and decides to leave her car with Jasmine and I for the day
8:30 - Drive to university before being persuaded by Jasmine to go to a seaside town to buy a bagel instead.
8:32 - Easily acquiesce cuz let's be real, I am not looking forward to hitting them books at uni.
9:00 - Arrive at fancy mall by the sea. Jasmine kindly offers to buy me breakfast which is a massive Jamaican beef patty and a cappucino.
9:05- Think to self that it is indeed a Wonderful World just like Louis Armstrong sang because free food.
9:10-10:00 am - Have a great enlightening talk with cousin about entrepreneuship and starting new business ideas.
10:05- Go to make up store to check out that Clinique Bottom Lash Mascara. Sales girl is super nice which is a great thing considering most service on this island is shit sub-par.
10:10- Get distracted by her demonstration of Cliniqe Dramatic mascara and then realize I only have money for Bottom lash mascara.
10:15- Get a free eyeliner with my purchase because of some promotion they have where if you buy something for eyes, you get some other eye product.
10:16 - Suspect she is only being so nice because I waited outside eating breakfast for an half hour because she opened the store late that morning.
10:17- Decide I love service guilt as much as I love great service.
10: 30 - Arrive at uni and wave goodbye to cousin who will take over the car for the rest of the day.
10:45 - Head into uni fully determined to study.
10:50- But first pop into bathroom to apply mascara. Gasp at how long my bottom lashes have become.
10:55 - Finally make it to study room. Log on computer and stick thesis USBstick into portal. Get distracted by the internet and twitter.
10:58 - Realize that EXO's Growl video isn't being relased at noon like I thought, but AT ELEVEN, IN TWO MINUTES.
10:58 and 30 seconds. - Sweat
10:59 - Sweat profusely
11:02 - Praise myself for my control to wait two extra minutes before opening youtube.
11:03 - Watch Korean version first because thats always the version thats promoted more:

Hold breath for the 1st minute of the video. Resume breathing because death is nigh. People need to breathe, it turns out.

11:06 - Watch Chinese version. Decide it's way better because my baby Lay gets more lines, dances more and is even sexier if possible. Also Chinese sounds sexier somehow. And more Kris, and more Chen.

(Lay's part starts at 38 secs in btw.) And all his dancing is flawless.

11:10 - Try to coherently express my delight at seeing my twelve babies in their video to disinterested football fans on twitter.

11:12 - Realize I can't type properly because I'm too excited.

11:13 - Dedicate an hour to watching each video several times to be able to focus on each member.

11:15 - Realize the fangirl life is a lot harder than everyone thinks it is

11:25 - finally prepare myself to open fandom central aka tumblr, only to be presented by a gif of Lay grabbing his crotch in the video. Then see another one of him basically grinding.

11:30 - Reblog every single gif of the video I can get my grubby hands on. Don't believe me? Creck out my blog:

12:00 - Decide I really need to work on my thesis. Put in a couple hours on that.

2:00 p.m. - My dad calls to find out if I have had lunch yet.

3:00 -Father shows up outside with food, no questions asked and I don't have to pay him back.

3:05- A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong once more strikes up in my head because free food. (If you can't tell by now, nothing makes me happier than free food.)

 4:50- Pass another fruitful two hours studying till I happen to look at the back of one of the lit crit books i am studying and realize it is 6 days overdue. Realize that another book is similarly overdue.
4:50 and 30 secs - whisper - "fuuuuuuck" because I am poor and I can't afford this shit. I'm a starving student after all.
4:55 - Arrive at uni library five mins before it closes and barely turn back in the books before it closes at 5 pm (usually it closes at 10 but its vacation time and this is the Caribbean so workers here tend to do leave whenever they feel like).
5:00 - Be told I can't pay the twelve dollars in overdues because the cashier closed off early and went home (like I said, Caribbean people give no fucks)
5:01 - Trudge back to study room thinking that the 12 dollars will have to come out of my Aveda-deep-clay-mask fund.
5:05 - Realize I will never be able to afford all the things on my skincare/make-up list anyway.

5:01 - Dedicate the next hour to writing this post till 6 p.m .

6:04 - Oh wait, thats my dad ringing me cuz he's outside the postgraduate building now. Later yall!!
Hope you guys liked it! I'm off to go home and put in some more study, aka  stare at my thesis notes then give up and cry before losing myself in another K pop dance video! Bai!!!!!

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