Sunday, August 22, 2010

I bought a catwoman suit.

  One of my favourite songs is Frou Frou's 'Let Go', but I've never really let go in my life. In fact, I've always stayed peacefully within the lines and did what I was supposed to do. Just keeping my real feelings and desires under wrap. I have always been the classic definition of a 'good girl'. I've always gotten good grades (including a scholarship), obeyed my parents when I could, and I just try to keep out of everyone's way.
  However, sometime this week, I forgot to care about what I'm supposed to do and about what other people think. I went into the city, bought the brightest red lipstick I could find, and later bought a leather skintight outfit that makes me look like catwoman. It was all very empowering. Plus, it was on sale.
  Of course, when I returned home, staring in horror at the faux-leather gold-zipped monstrosity I had actually purchased, I realized that maybe that wasn't the best way to let go. (No complaints about the red lipstick though. Ruby Woo by MAC is great). But it was hopefully a step towards freedom. And I'm already seeing improvements in myself. I mean, a year ago I would have been way too shy to even start my own blog, and now I've done that. And I'm definitely more assertive than I used to be. After all, I tell my hairdresser exactly what I want my hair to look like now when I go for an appointment. (Oh, that doesn't count? Darn.)
   But I've still got a long way to go in fulfilling the true meaning of 'letting go' that Imogen Heap talks about in that song. Maybe it will hurt, maybe I will end up making a few more disastrous purchases that I can't wear outside my bedroom, maybe I'll struggle some more before I become stronger, but at least I won't be such a pushover. And even if I do make some mistakes along the way, according to Frou Frou "there's beauty even in the breakdown." Which I take to mean "if I fuck up, that's ok too."
  Have you done anything that gave you a moment of empowerment? Have you made any disastrous purchases? Have you "let go" recently? If so, share! Share! :)

1 comment:

  1. Oh my goodness. This let me realize that I really do need to let go. With clothes, but also with people a little bit.

    It's complicated if I try to fully explain, but now I know what I've got to do. So, I'm going to do it. Thanks for writing!

    Best wishes,



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